The Breaking

Today in church, we continued a series titled "Deeper" at #ElementChurchMO.

The executive pastor led service with a scripture from Luke 5. He spoke on verse four, "When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, 'Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.'" For context - Simon and his brother (Andrew) had been fishing all day and caught nothing. Jesus came and gave an instruction for Simon and Andrew to keep doing what they were doing, but per his direction.

The focus was obviously on the word "deep."

As the pastor kept reading, I personally got caught up on a word in verse six.

Luke 5: 5-6, "Simon answered, 'Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.' When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break."

Break.

I've been feeling quite broken lately.

Falling apart, to be honest. Losing myself in all the things around me.

When most people read or listen to Bible passages, we tend to think of ourselves through the lens of the people in the story. But the connection I felt today, was with the net.

The net, in this passage, is the vessel through which the two fishermen did their work. Simon and Peter were not in the water catching fish by hand. They used the net. The net which wasn't noted to be broken, until Jesus commanded the brothers to use it as He instructed.

The net was whole before this, but was not achieving it purpose.

Have you ever felt like you were happier before trying to walk with Christ?

Like, thinking to yourself, "Man... I didn't have these problems before trying to live right!!"

Mind you. I still have a lot of work towards my Christianity and my daily journey in Christ. But I can attest to doing better now spiritually than before.

But as I grow with God, I also grow in my discontent.

Stressed.

Depressed.

Torn Apart. - Like the net.

This makes me think about another Bible verse. One often quoted out of context.

2nd Timothy 1:7

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (KJV)

I used to quote this verse so often. Being more mature in my walk, I can honestly say when I used to say it - it was more cliche or Christian-ese. (It sounded good, or necessary, in the moment.) This is not to say I didn't believe it in when I said it. But I had not fully come into the true understanding of it's intended use and purpose.

Why would we need to have these characteristics, if we weren't going to go through some more than trying times?

Then we have to take into account - serving a God who "is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think." (Ephesians 3:20 KJV).

If we serve a God who can do more than we can imagine or think, might this be because we will experience pains, tribulations, betrayals, and heartache beyond what we could possibly imagine - or personally prepare for on our own?

Simon (Peter) and Andrew listened to God and pulled back more fish than their nets could handle. So much so, their nets broke.

But I think about that scripture in its entirety. The brothers had worked all night, and they were tired. Most likely frustrated. Stressed.

They did all that work, "toiled all night" (Luke 5:5) and had nothing to show for it. Then, after listening to Jesus, they threw their nets. They caught so many fish, the net began to break. After calling for help, they pulled in so much that theirs and other boats began to sink.

I read and read again over that passage. If we are doing God's work, we are going to experience a blessing and a breaking. Simultaneously.

I imaging just how tired the brothers must have been. First - from working all day and catching nothing. Then - from following Jesus and catching exceedingly and abundantly more than they could imagine. It must have taken so much energy to pull the fish in.

But being tired from breaking nets, must have been so much more rewarding than being tired from nothing.

I commented earlier on how tired I'd been since intentionally doing better in my walk with Christ.

It's far from perfect. But the progression, alone, can take a lot out of anyone.

Looking from the lens of Andrew and Simon (Peter), the obedience was exhausting.

But even if my life was easier, maybe even happier, before these recent steps in following what God asked of me; I can empathize with Andrew and Simon (Peter).

I'd rather have broken nets (a broken spirit, a stint of depression, more moments of darkness than I can remember ever experiencing) from doing what I was told to do, than being half as tired without having Jesus by my side.