It Had to Happen

Have you ever felt sooo far from God, it felt like He would never forgive you? I have.

I'm sure you have at some point also.

My mind wanders a lot into my past. I'm often reminded of things I wish I'd never done. Honestly, I am still battling with things I didn't realize would haunt me for this long.

I'v even wondered, at times, if God still bothers with hearing my prayers any more.

I mean, let's be real. When I think of all I have done, and some of the things I still do, I could understand if God were done with me.

But He isn't.

There is someone I'm sure thought the same way about himself.

A man who did something so horrible, he couldn't bare the thought continuing life after his sin.

The man was Judas Iscariot. (yes... THAT Judas)

I know... I know... (pearls are clutched, and every church-goer has gasped in the chat)

(Whispers in the audience... "Is she really about to talk about Judas?"

THE JUDAS? <-- the one who set up Jesus?

Yup... I am.

Honestly, I think about Judas a lot. I think many of us could stand to think of him and his story in Christ's betrayal more often. And I don't mean for the sake of judging him 2,000 years later.

But looking at his story without using it to make our sins look "not as bad."

I think many of us (as Christians) avoid talking about Judas, because well...

It does feel a bit taboo. Doesn't it?

Before we continue into this message, I think we should all get off our pedastals of faith and remember something key to our walk with Christ. Romans 6:23.

"The wages of sin is death." That's all sin. Including yours. The same as Judas's.

The rest of that scripture is also key to this coversation.

"...but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord." <-- this is imperative to the rest of this topic.

We all know the story about how Judas was paid thirty pieces of silver to betray Jesus.

• Matthew 26:14-16

Once Jesus was condemned to be crucified, the next day Judas realized what he had done.

He returned the 30 pieces of silver. Even in his moment of remorse, he was met with more conviction and guilt. The individuals he sought to return his payment to kind of rubbed his actions in even more saying, "What is this to us?" about the money he was returning.

Shortly after, scripture tells us Judas hung himself.

Obviously, none of us have experienced physically betraying the Son of God.

But what I do know is we all have sinned, and sin comes at a cost.

It separates us from God.

Sin is literally us turning our backs on God and what He has called us to do.

A thought came to mind about five years ago, and I keep it with me often.

God is omnipresent and omnipotent.

This means at the very time I sin, each time I sin, is at the very same time He watched His Son get nailed to the cross.

I used to think of my sin as the hammer driving the nail into the hands and feet of Christ.

My sins put him on that cross.

The same way Judas helped put Him up there.

Honestly, Peter declaring not to know Jesus three times is a similar sin.

Judas knew Jesus, and betrayed Him using their relationship against Christ.

Peter knew Jesus, and betrayed Him by pretending he had no relationship with Christ.

You know what's also interesting about the two?

The only difference was Peter stuck around to own up to his sins, which also allowed him to be forgiven.

Where as Judas....

Well, he hung himself.

I think about Judas killing himself and I get a little emotionally overwhelmed.

Not from the perspective of excusing what he did, but also realizing it had to happen.

Judas was instrumental in Jesus taking His place on the cross.

Taking our place in death.

What Judas didn't realize is, what he did (while shameful) was necessary.

Even more so, I wish Judas understood Jesus knew when He selected Judas what his ultimate purpose would be among the disciples.

I did some digging and Judas's last name (Iscariot, believed to be a variation of the Latin word "sicarius") is loosely translated to mean "murderer" or "assassin."

But He still chose him.

Jesus chose a murderer.

He needed one.

Jesus chose Judas.

He was necessary to Him and His purpose on earth.

I can only imagine the weight on Judas's shoulders, when he woke up the next morning and realized Jesus was convicted. The Bible says, "he (Judas) was remorseful."

Which makes me think Judas was coming to the full understanding of just what he did when betraying Christ.

He may not have honestly thought through what happened after turning Jesus over to the priests.

Judas did not just turn in Jesus to the priests.

He set the domino affect leading to his crucifixion.

One can wonder if he knew that was the output when he accepted the thirty pieces of silver.

I mean, let's be honest. Nothing about priests makes me think of a man being brought to them would face death. That's some mafia stuff to me. But hey.... That's what happened.

Once Judas realized the truth and reality of what he'd done, I'm sure he thought...

"Yeah... It's over for me. I turned on my friend (Jesus) in front of my other friends (the disciples)."

Judas must have also thought, "I can't go back to them. They must hate me."

I think of the amount of sorrow, depression, and loneliness I've felt when I knowingly did something, I already knew was wrong - only to find out it was actually worse than I thought.

The sins I've committed have, indeed, caused me to think to myself, "God must be done with me now."

Judas had to feel that, times a million.

He literally handed Jesus over to be crucified - whether intentionally or not.

He must have felt so separated from God.

Then, I think about when Judas had to appear before the Father in judgement.

• Ecclesiastes 12:14 says, "God will bring every work into judgement, with every secret thing, whether good or evil."

• My imagination runs wild when I read the Bible.

  • Anyone who thinks it is a boring book, must be a boring person.

I think of "what if" after Judas passes, and his judgement before the Father occurs.

Judas admits to trading over Jesus for thirty pieces of silver.

Just to be told by God, "I know. That's why you were chosen."

The thing Judas carried so much shame over, he unalived himself because of, is the very thing he was supposed to do.

IT HAD TO HAPPEN

But Judas's sin was not what kept him from God.

Judas separated himself.

He kept himself from being in position to receive grace and mercy - most of all forgiveness.

Judas died before Jesus was crucified.

I'm sure he couldn't handle the thought of living when someone he loved - he betrayed - was being put to death, because of him.

Anyone else ever lose someone close to you, and thought/prayed to God,

"it should have been me?"

I'm sure that was Judas in his last few hours of life.

Judas removing himself before Jesus died on the cross, means he also removed himself from the opportunity to be around during the 40 days post Jesus's resurrection.

Jesus didnt just rise again from the dead. He came back and saw/sat with others.

He was seen by over 500 people in that time frame.

• He saw Mary Magdelene: Mark 16:9-10, John 20:14-17

• Jesus pulled up on the two traveling back to Emmaus: Luke 24:13-35

• The disciples were seen repeatedly throughout the Gospels

  • He saw ten of them when they were hiding in the upper room: Mark 16:9-20

  • Thomas wasn't there, and Jesus visited him directly: John 20:24-29

I find it hard to believe Jesus wouldn't have made a stop to see Judas - had he continued living.

I want y'all to take what I'm about to say and really breathe it in.

Judas separated himself from God, because the thought he did something unforgivable.

Judas must have thought his sin was too big to be forgiven.

But I think Judas also forgot who was greater than his sin.

The sin, as great as it was, is not what separated Judas from God.

Judas did that.

Something else I wish Judas would have stuck around to realize is Jesus died for THAT SIN, too.

Jesus died for the person who set him up to be killed.

The part of this I want y'all to also focus on is this...

Jesus's death was as a living sacrifice to cover all sins.

Judas taking his life in his own hands, took his life from being covered on the cross.

If he would have hung on, instead of hanging himself, he possibly could have lived long enough to experience that weight lifted from his shoulders.

From his mind.

From his soul.

Our sins are never too big to make God let go of us. But when we let go of God, whew.

When WE let go of God, He never leaves us.

He also doesn't force His ways on us.

God couldn't make Judas live longer, if Judas did not want to.

I get sad thinking about how in Judas's time of isolation, God was right there.

He was right there.

Jesus was around the corner, about to resurrect.

Judas could have been see.

He could have been forigiven.

Would it have made the disciples befriend him again?

I don't know.

Would it have made his life easier?

I doubt it.

Would it mean Judas would go the rest of his life not remembering what he did?

Absolutely not.

But this is why it is important to remember, walking with/to Christ does not remove us from accountability. However, it does guarantee us an eternity blessed beyond our understanding after death.

It also gives us a bit to look forward to while finishing our earthly journeys.

There are many things each of us have done in life, that well... had some sucky consequences.

But take heart. Those sins, from the origin of our hearts to being lived out through our actions, God knew about them before we were even knit together in our mother's wombs.

Yet and still, He chose us.

God knows whatever mess we make, as long as we stick around to lay it down before Him, will be the makings of a blessing for others.

What I find most fascinating about Judas and his decision to remove himself from the land of the living is this:

HE WALKED WITH JESUS FOR ALMOST THREE YEARS.

• Judas saw Christ give sight to the blind

• He saw Jesus heal the lame

• They witnessed Jesus restore individuals and tell them to simply "go, and sin no more"

Judas had seen the examples of power and mercy from Jesus to soo many people.

But he had to think, "I'm worse than all of them."

"There's no way God will heal, restore, or forgive me."

Especially given the very factor of Christ's impending death.

(Remember, Judas removed himself from life before seeing Jesus after the resurrection.)

The money Judas returned to the priest was dirty money. Because they knew it had blood on it, they decided to use the money to dig graves for those who were too poor for their families to purchase plots of land to rest their dead.

Judas helping Jesus get seized and ultimately killed, gave us a Savior.

It also gave a place for burial to those who could not afford it.

The death he contributed to, lead to the proper burials of others who died.

Ever think back on something really dumb or bad you did and realized, after everything played out, it actually set the scene for something good to happen for others?

I'm reminded of the story of Joseph. His brother betrayed him. Sold him into slavery.

He ended up in jail for a bit.

But because of his gift and his pursuit and obedience to God, all the bad things his family and others did to him, ended up being used for good.

Joseph faced his brothers (those who betrayed him) and while blessing them with food during a famine (that would preach it on it's own), he told them "you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive as they are today."

• Genesis 50:20

Moments before this statement of grace and mercy, Joseph's brothers were mentally prepareing themselves for the anger of Joseph. They knew what they did to him. Once they realized he was the person they needed to survive, they were afriad.

They did not consider forgiveness as an option for them. The brothers were so wrapped up in knowing what THEY did, they did not give thought to who their brother was or how the story could end well for them.

I mean, seriously. Should it have ended well for them?

No.

But the grace we receive from God is the same grace the brothers got from Joseph, and I truly feel in my heart it is the very same grace Judas could have received from Jesus.

If only he stuck around to obtain it.

I think of myself, and all the times I tried to not be here when I was younger. I think back on the situations that left me feeling as thought my life was not worth living. Thoughts about how God can't possibly forgive this one. And the reality and truth, knowing there is nothing I can do to earn mercy or grace.

But I receive it, over... and over.... and over... AND OVER... again.

There's a lot of Judas in all of us.

What we have, that Judas did not at the time:

• The Holy Spirit, which connects us to God in such a beautiful way

• We have a Savior

• We also have an entire book of reference.

I'd be remissed to gloss over telling you all, I've been in the mental position of not wanting to be here any more. I've been in the mindset of feeling too dirty to ever be clean.

I've also been blessed enough to know my life has to be lived in order to achieve my purpose, even on days I do not understand what that means.

Your life, and all of your ups and downs,

Your "Hills and Valleys,"

Your failures and your sins,

Are all things God already knew about before He created you.

And still He did.

You are the walking breath of God.

You are His hands and feet EVERYDAY.

Yes, even on the days you mess up.

Especially on those days.

As we enter a new year, please remember you are always walking in His grace and mercy.

Please dont sell your purpose short, because we all fall short of God's glory. (Romans 3:23)

You are needed.

And it's evidenced by every day He continues to wake you up. :)